So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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