nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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