he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she peed on how many people?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
