I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
