if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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