when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
