Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
