Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
