I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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