dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
