what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
