if you like me you must not know who I am
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
