You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
