stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
