I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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