chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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