i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
