think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
