yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
