I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
How does one acquire holy water?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
