i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
