I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize