I'm drive I can fine osifer
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
