Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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