There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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