omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
