I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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