Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize