I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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