Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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