1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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