There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
