she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
