I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize