i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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