i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize