I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
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I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
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Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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