is your mom at the bar?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i used baking grease as lip gloss
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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