Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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