So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize