i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
