I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Shame - the story of my life.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
