shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
