K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
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