I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
