I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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