Do you still have your period?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
