Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
