You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize
