you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
