just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
