Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
