And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
