Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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