can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
