Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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