do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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