We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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