awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
