I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
