im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
