Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
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