Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Apparently you make a good broom.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
