: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
