none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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