every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Shame - the story of my life.
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