I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
It's just like the Real World with babies
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
